Aalap...

She banged the door behind her, flung her bag on the bed and walked fiercely towards the cabinet at the corner of the room. She dug out all her song scripts, pictures of her receiving awards and started tearing them piece by piece. She screamed and sobbed looking at the pictures until she found the one where she is sitting in the train with her best friend, bidding a final goodbye to the city which created her…..

‘So, this is it. I can’t believe you are leaving, Anushka. It seems so unreal; it feels like it was yesterday when we both met at Guruji’s place.’

‘I know. I am so excited. I can’t believe I’ll be studying in Mumbai! I’ll be meeting all those new and exciting people. I just can’t wait’.

‘Don’t get disillusioned by the city of dreams, okay? And don’t you dare forget us. We might be from a small city of Ranchi, but we all do love you.’

‘Areeee, Aman! Senti mat ho naa! Main marne nahi wali, aati rahungi tum logo se milne. Chill yar. I am just worried that they all like me, you know.

‘Ofcourse they’ll like you Anushka. You’re ambitious, open minded and pretty; you love new experiences and above all you’re so talented. You know what they all say that you were always too progressive for Ranchi, so I am sure you’ll be perfect for Mumbai.

The train horn blew with all its strength. It was time to leave. Aman hugs Anushka for the final time and leaves the train. He stares at her hair flowing outside from the window, almost seeming like they were trying to reach out to him. She tries to grasp a hold of her hair and forces them into bun. It annoys him; he always likes her hair open. She takes a last glimpse at him and smiles. He is fine again and screams ‘Don’t forget to call me when you win Mood Indigo!’ Her smile turns into a hearty burst of laughter. Her eyes light up and her face beams as the train rolls by, fading the vistas of the city and turning them into just memories. 

. .

Its morning, she wakes up to the hustle of the Mumbai Central station. Her beaming eyes are fascinated by the amount of people she saw. An old man, wearing a vest and dhoti selling a cutting to a young man, all suited up to probably to attend a job interview; a young girl negotiating with the paperwala over the price of the Cosmopolitan she wanted to buy; a college student trying to catch the local; a pickpocket eyeing people to find the next victim. She saw old and young, busy and easy going, stressed and happy. She saw them all and she saw all the hues of Mumbai, at once.

. .

The next day, after experiencing a not so great local train ride, she reached the college. After staring at the profound building of the college and sinking it in, she entered it along with another hundreds of students, stepping into the new experiences of college life.

Anushka was awed. She was amazed with the diversity of talents that thrived in the college. She saw dancers grooving in the middle of the hallway, she saw nerds stacking their books on the first day, she saw a guy and a girl debating on a global issue, she saw a couple kissing in the corner of the classroom. However a little overwhelmed by the cultural shock, Anushka was fascinated by the demeanor of the new city and was starting to love it.

As she crossed by the main corridor, she stopped by the notice board to check any information for freshers. However, her eyes immediately drifted away as she saw a poster of the Music Club right next to it. The poster invited freshers with musical talent to come and showcase their abilities. The thought of meeting new people with similar interests as hers intrigued her, as she headed for the Jamming room.

An old slightly wrecked but huge room with high ceiling and French windows stood in front of her. There was a huge group of students in the hall. The sound of electric guitar and drums screeched their way past the group and hit her. She made her way ahead to watch the jamming session. There was a guy on the drums showcasing his dexterity with the sticks, a strikingly cute guy on the guitar and girl, the vocalist, creating an aura with herbrusque voice.

‘What’s in your head, in your head…Zombie Zombie…eyah eyah eyah…..’

As the lead singer ended the song with a deep sigh, the audience broke into applause.  The support of the audience reflected in their thunderous claps got Anushka all excited as she volunteered to be the next participant.

‘So, what’s your name, girl? Where are you from?’ the drummer asked.

‘I am Anushka Sinha. I am from Ranchi’, she replied.

‘Ranchi? Where the hell is that bro? Isn’t that in Bihar?’ the singer girl inquired.

‘No, it’s the capital of Jharkhand; the state was earlier a part of Bihar, now it isn’t.’, Anushka defended.

‘Ya, ya…whatever that is! Bihar-Jharkhand… one and the same thing. Dudes, we have a Bihari in college!’ Everyone breaks out into laughter.

‘People, relax! Give the girl a chance atleast’, asserted the guy with the guitar. So what are you going to sing for us? What’s your scale?

‘Scale? Umm.., Anushka started shifting in her shoes. For the first time in her life, she became nervous in front of an audience. I want to sing Aaja Piya Tohe Pyar Du by Lata Mangeshkar.

‘What What What? The drummer exclaimed. Is that a song? A Hindi song? Are you out of your mind? Why don’t you sing that Bihari song of yours…what was it guys

‘Dil wale ke dil ka karar lootne, main ayi hun UP Bihar lootne…’ The audience sang in chorus and started laughing and mocking her. Tears trickled down her eyes, as Anushka tried to wipe off the offending cheek.

The guitarist signaled by his band friends goes up to her. ‘Aww…don’t cry girl! How do these stupid asses know what talent Bihar has got? he said, trying to hide the smirk. They don’t deserve your talent. Wait, I’ll take you to the perfect audience for you.

He takes her to the entrance of the college. Anushka quietly sobs on the way. The crowd quietly follows them out of curiosity. 

‘Here we are. These will be the best people who will appreciate your talent. You might even know some of them.’

Anushka wipes her tears and looks up. She sees a row of autos where auto drivers, chatting and bickering with each other. 

This time the crowd roars with laughter. Anushka bursts into tears and runs away right out of the college.

He looks behind seeking a sign of approval from his band mates. They laugh and call out, ‘Swarit, dude, let’s go! We’re late for class.’ They all rush back as the sound of the bell echoes in the college campus.

. .

She banged the door behind her, flung her bag on the bed and walked fiercely towards the cabinet at the corner of the room. She dug out all her song scripts, pictures of her receiving awards and started tearing them piece by piece. She screamed and sobbed looking at the pictures.*

She had never been so insulted before. Everyone loved her back in Ranchi. They all thought she was extremely talented. She earned a Visharad in Indian Classical Music when she was only sixteen. He was the popular girl, she was the one everyone wanted to be, she was the big fish. A big fish who got lost and bogged down in the limitless ocean of talent that the big city hosted.

‘I quit’, she told herself. 

. .

Months pass by as Anushka goes for her classes and returns home right after. With no friends at all, she dedicates herself to studying. Rarely, she comes out of her room to interact with her flatmates.

One day, as she reads a book in the break between her classes, she sees her phone ringing. It’s Aman. She ignores it. The phone starts ringing again. She stares at his name flashing on her phone screen and finally decides to pick it up.

‘Hello.’

‘Anushkaaaa….it’s you!’, a voice exclaimed from the other side in a slurry tone.

‘Aman? Are you alright?’

‘Anushkaa, I really misssss you! It’s soo lonely out here.’

‘Aman, are you drunk? She inquires, worriedly.

‘Drunk, noooo!! Anushka can you please sing that song for me? The one that I love, especially that one part!’

‘What? Anushka, stood up and shrieked. Concerned that people might see her, she ran up the stairs at the roof of the college building’  

‘Aman, its 11 in the morning. Who got you drunk? I can’t sing I am in college’.

Anushkaaa, please please please! Or I’ll die. Aman, started to sob.

Okay Okay! But just two lines, the part you like.

‘Bhaage re man kahin aage re man chala jaane kidhar jaanu naaa…ke haan haan haan re, bhaage re man kahin aage re man chala jaane kidhar jaanu na’

As she sang the lines, a spirit of divine power entered her voice and every note she hit turned her cheeks red as, her body fuelled by the energy of music, pumped blood to every inch of her body. The sight was ecstatic. She hung up and started to rush back to her classes when suddenly a voice stops her in her feet.

‘Wow, you really have some good notes, there. No wonder he wanted to listen to you, so desperately. Who’s he? Boyfriend from Bihar?’ he smirked. 

She turns back only to find Swarit, coming out from the other corner of the roof, puffing a cigarette on his way.

‘Why do you care? For all you know he might be an autowala.’ she rebuked and ran down the stairs.

. .

‘Guys, this is not happening! We do the same thing every time. Distortion, incessant drumming solos, and aggressive vocals – I want to do something different this time?’ 

‘Yaa bro, you’re right! We should try something different. Oh ya, lets shift from metal to rock! That would be a hell of a change for us!’

‘No, yaar Karan’, Swarit said disappointedly taking his drumsticks from him to stop the drum roll. I want to do something really different, something melodies – you know something Indian.

‘What?’ Rhea shrieked. I have been singing in this band for three years now and dude Swarit I haven’t heard you say something so absurd ever. What’s wrong with you? Come smoke this ‘J’ with me, probably it will get your head straight.

‘Ahh, leave it you guys. I am going out, I need some air’, he stormed out of the Jam Room. Rhea and Karan stared at each other in confusion as they watched him leave.

.  .

It was dusk; the sky had turned bright red as if it was getting its life from the giver of life, blood, giving the skyline of Mumbai an angered personality that is trying to cool down after bearing the redness of incessant work it has done in the day.

He walks up to the steps at Marine Drive and tries to sink the sight in. He sits there with his legs folded and looks for the lighter in his pockets. Against the sky, he lights his cigarette and it burns as if it is challenging the sky of its warmth and redness. As he glides his eyes over the couples that flock the rocky beach, his eyes stop over a girl.  A girl, he was sure he knew, even in the faintness of distance. He smiled as he knew what he had to do. He pushes himself over the steps and tries to make his way through the rocks.  As he approaches the girl, he smiles at his judgment and sits next to her. 

Deep in contemplation, she is unnerved by his presence. Her face was glowing, partially due to the reddish hue that the sky reflected at her and partially due to the inner peace she was seeking.

He broke the silence.

‘Before you think that I am stalking you or something I want to make it clear that I have no intentions to do that. I am here because I saw you in the distance and…

What do you want Swarit? She cuts him off.

If I hadn’t known you’re from Bihar, I wouldn’t have been able to ever guess it. You know, considering all the guts you have.

She keeps silent.

Anushka, that’s your name? Isn’t it? I was wondering if you want to sing…

Ahh why? The autowalas have a union function or what?

Okay listen. For that, whatever happened, I am sorry. It was the first day of the new session, everyone was in some mood for fun and I didn’t weigh the consequences. I didn’t mean to hurt you…

Didn’t mean to hurt me, she shouted. What were you thinking? Oh small town girl, let’s make fun of her and get all the attention. It’s a one day deal? You know what you big town people just think about yourselves and you can get what you want at the cost of anything. Not just that, you made fun of my music! I might not know your English bands, but one thing I know, people who can make fun of music can never be real artists. So stop pretending that you’re some great musician because you’re nothing but a bully. And ya, next time pick on someone your own size.

As she frantically stood up to leave, almost unable to stop her tears. Swarit grabbed her and looked into her eyes…

‘Yes I am not good enough. Yes, I am afraid to say that even to myself but one thing you got wrong is that I am not an offender of music’.

He went on as Anushka battled his grip and finally gave in to listen to him speak.

‘Okay I am afraid of losing people’s attention? What were you afraid of? If you are some great artist, why did you stop singing? I think the biggest offender of music is the one who doesn’t value his own gift.

She couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. She stared at her feet.

‘Look at me, Anushka. This is Mumbai- city of dreams, yet a city where people don’t hesitate to crush other people’s dreams. If you can’t deal with these things now, people will walk over you.  You need to be strong and do what you came here for.

She started crying her eyes out.

‘Stop crying like a 5 year old who just got to know that Santa doesn’t exist!’ Listen, he spoke convincingly.

‘Not a lot of people will tell you what I just said for the fear that you will grow stronger and outdo them. I have no such fear because I know you’re better than me; you’re better than anyone I have ever heard. And I don’t want you to go down as I won’t be able to cope up with the guilt. I am sorry Anushka and I want to make it upto you.’

‘The band entries for Mood Indigo have opened; I want you to sing for me.’

Her eyes twinkled as she heard his proposition. She looked at him, doubtfully.

‘Don’t doubt yourself, Anushka. You’ll do great and you know why?

She looked at him timidly. ‘Why?’

‘Because music has no language.’

Her eyes glistened and he kissed her, against the backdrop of the setting sun. Their eyes closed and they moved away into a different world, away from the hustle of Mumbai. They felt eternal, as the sole thread of music that brought them together was the source of all liberation in the world.

. .

As she hit that highest last note and left the audience craving for more, the hall broke into a thunderous applause. The performance was fresh and riveting. They all screamed in unison ‘Aalap, Aalap, Aalap’! She looked at him and he nodded in appraisal.

It was the last performance and it was time for the final scores. They held each other’s hands in togetherness.

‘And the winner of the Mood Indigo Band Event goes to, the Kryptonites’!

He looked at her, timidly. She smiled. He was surprised.

It’s okay Swarit. It’s not a defeat. We’ve won because we overcame our fears. After going through everything, I had the strength to go up to that stage and perform. You went against your band members to try something new. That takes guts. We did a great job and the fact that we did it together makes it all the more special.

A tear tricked down his cheek for the first time. He hadn’t heard of anything like that before. He pulled her towards him and hugged her.

She smiled and kissed him on his cheek. ‘I love you’

‘I love you too, Anushka.’

‘I’ll be back in a minute.’

‘Where are you, going?’

‘I have an autowala to sing to’

He smiled.

.  .

‘Ke haan haan haan re, Bhaage re man kabhi aage re man chala jane kidhar jaanu naa….’

‘Hii Anushka’, replied a doubtful voice.

‘You never called me back to sing, so I thought I’d call you back and sing myself.’

‘Look Anushka, I am really sorry for that day. I don’t know what got into me. Some stupid friends got me drunk and I just lost it….

‘Aman, it’s alright.  I am your best friend yar! Also, I am coming back to see you in a week, I have vacations.’

‘Really?? That’s great! I have great news to tell you anyway?

‘Ooooh..Whats that?’

‘Anushka, I met someone.’

‘Aman, seriously?? When, where, how?

‘You come down; I’ll tell you everything in detail.

‘Now I am excited. Oh and ya, I just performed at Mood Indigo’

‘Whattt?? Why didn’t you tell me earlier you fool? Congratulations! How did it go?

Anushka smiled and said, ‘I won Aman, I won.