MUCH ADO ABOUT A WEDDING: An adaptation!

Characters:

Karan

Rishi

Siddharth aka. Sid

Priya

Neha

Zoya

Extras:

Ramu

Manik

Mr. Shetty 

ACT 1

Scene 1:

(Priya and Karan are getting married. The bride’s family eagerly awaits the groom’s family to reach the resort where the wedding ceremonies will take place. )

ENTER STAGE-RIGHT: Mr. Shetty, Zoya, Neha, Priya staring at their cell phones. Mr. Shetty receives a text and the others are looking excitedly over his shoulder.

Mr. Shetty: He is coming tonight! Karan is coming tonight!

(Girls giggle and cheer)

Mr. Shetty: Karan will be joined his brother... Rishi...

(Priya blushed while other girls tease her)

Zoya: And... will Karan’s idiot oh I mean that friend be joining him?

(Mr. Shetty looks confused)

Zoya: You know, short guy, brown hair, stupid-looking,

Mr. Shetty: I... don't know who you mean.

Neha: She means Siddharth.

Mr. Shetty: Yes! Of course. All these years he has worked very well with Karan in his company.

Zoya: Serving beer?

Mr. Shetty: Don't mind my niece... She and Siddharth are in a war of the sexes. They can't be in the same room without fighting.

Mr. Shetty: I hope I stay friends with you...

ENTER: Karan, Manik, Rishi, Siddharth.

Karan: Hello people, Whats up?

(they laugh and hug, and shake hands. Hero eyes Rishi, blushing, while Zoya smirks at Siddharth.

Mr. Shetty: My prince, my home and my town are yours.

Karan: You are too kind, Mr. Shetty. Is this your daughter?

Mr. Shetty: Her mother tells me so.

Siddharth: You asked her? Did you have doubts? (sarcastically)

Zoya: It's amazing how you can still talk, Siddharth, when no one ever listens to you.

(Short silence)

Siddharth: Hello, Satan.

(They walk towards each other slowly; challenging, like cowboys in a duel)

Zoya: Satan? Well I guess even angels would turn to devils if they saw you.

Siddharth: You know, all ladies seem to like me... except you. Pitty, I don't like them.

Zoya: Pitty? I think it's very lucky. But as for me, I'd rather have my teeth pulled out, then to hear a man tell me he loves me.

Siddharth: Thank GOD! Please, don't ever change that attitude, otherwise some poor man will end up with claw marks on his face.

Zoya: Scratching his face couldn't make it any worse than yours!

(Siddharth starts to answer but Karan stops him)

Karan: We'll have plenty of time for fighting later. Mr. Shetty is throwing a party for us tonight. We should all prepare for it.

(Prince bows; Mr. Shetty bows back. They all leave, except Siddharth and Rishi. Zoya makes a rude gesture at Siddharth)

Siddharth (stomping angrily) I hate that girl! I hate her, hate her HATE her!

Rishi: Siddharth.

Siddharth: WHAT!?

(Rishi hesitates. Siddharth takes a breath and relaxes)

Siddharth: Yes?

Rishi: Did you see Mr. Shetty's daughter?

Siddharth: I saw her... but didnt notice much.

Rishi: Isn't she... well... cute?

Siddharth: Do you want my polite opinion, or my honest opinion as a dedicated woman-hater?

Rishi: Just tell me what you really think of her.

Siddharth: She's too thin, too dark, too tall, and too... FEMALE!

Rishi: You think I'm kidding.

Siddharth: Are you... after her?

Rishi: Well, I...

Siddharth: Tell me you're not in LOVE!

ENTER Karan

Karan: What's up boys? Why didn't you follow us.

Siddharth: You don't want to know!

Karan: I demand to know.

Siddharth: He is in love... with who... with... NEHA! Mr. Shetty's daughter.

Karan: Rishi... I like your taste.

Siddharth: You have got to be kidding.

Karan: Hey, you are the last person anyone should ask about love and women.

Siddharth: I am just speaking my mind. Neha's cousin... Look, for my own sake, I won't love any woman, and I'll die single.

Karan: I will bet you, before I die, I will see you turn green with love.

Siddharth: I will turn green with anger, sickness, hunger, but NEVER with love.

Karan: Then it's a bet?

(they shake hands)

Siddharth: Done.

EXIT Siddharth

Karan: So... Neha?

Rishi: I saw her when we went to the club, and I liked her, and... 'like' became 'love'.

ENTER Ramu. (He sees Karan and the prince, and listens to them secretly)

Karan: Don't look so sorry! If you love Neha, be proud of it!

Rishi: But I don't know if she loves me and I'm afraid to ask.

Karan: You are talking to the love master!  At Mr. Shetty's party, we will wear masks, so I will dress like you, and dance with Neha, and tell her I love her! And then she is yours!

(Rishi hugs Karan)

EXIT everyone

Scene 2:

(Manik is washing and grooming, looking upset)

Ramu: You seem... upset, Manik Bhaiya.

Manik: Because I have no reason to be happy. I want to do something bad, but I don't know what.

Ramu: I have some news I think you'll like.

Manik: What news?

Ramu: Someone has fallen in love.

Manik: Someone?

Ramu: Your littlest brother!

Manik: Aha! Rishi! Whom does he like?

Ramu: Neha, Mr. Shetty's daughter.

Ramu: I was just listening to them in the garden. The Karan will dance with Neha, dressed as Rishi, and ask her to be his girlfriend.

Manik: Hmm... I think I finally have a way to cause trouble. Are you with me?

Ramu: Ofcourse (grins)

Manik: Then come, let’s plan some mischief.

EXIT everyone

Scene 3:

Disco music in the back. ENTER Siddharth

(Siddharth is carryng a mask. He's obviously angry)

Siddharth: Mama's boy! *to the audience* She said I'm a mama's boy! I will get her, I swear. *makes a choking motion*

ENTER Karan, Neha and Mr. Shetty

Karan: Siddharth, have you seen Rishi?

Siddharth: I saw him sitting in a corner somewhere.

Karan: and what's wrong with you? Have you been talking to Zoya again?

(Pause. Siddharth starts to cry)

Siddharth: She called me a mama's boy!

(Everyone snickers at him)

Siddharth: Don't laugh!

ENTER Zoya and Rishi

Neha: Look, here she comes.

(Siddharth runs off stage-left. Everyone laughs at him.)

Karan: Rishi you look sad. You have no reason to be. Here... I have got your girlfriend for you!

(Rishi and Neha hug)

Karan: And now we must find you a husband, Zoya.

Zoya: A rich lawyer?

Karan: What about me?

Zoya: No financial analysts... they are much too expensive. Goodnight.

EXIT Zoya STAGE-RIGHT

Karan: Nice girl.

Mr. Shetty: She's always happy. Neha tells me she laughs in her sleep.

Karan: But she'll never talk about a boyfriend.

Mr. Shetty: No. She laughs at anyone who approaches her.

Karan: She'd make a good girlfriend for Siddharth.

(Everyone laughs)

Rishi: What!? They would kill each other in a week!

Karan: My friends, I have a plan.

Rishi: A plan?

Karan: Yes, a plan, to cause Siddharth and Zoya to fall madly in love!

Karan: But, I will need help from all of you.

Mr. Shetty: I am with you!

Rishi: And me!

Karan: and you, my brother’s lady?

Neha: I will do anything to help her not hate men!

Karan: Then come with me, and I'll tell you everything.

EXIT everyone

ACT 2

Scene 1:

ENTER Siddharth

Siddharth: Ramu

ENTER Servant STAGE-RIGHT

Ramu: Haan bhaiya?

Siddharth: There's a book in my room. Bring it here.

Ramu: But it’s already here.

Siddharth: Yes... that's why I want you to go to my room... and bring it here!

EXIT boy

Siddharth: *to audience* See how stupid people become when they think of love... I NEVER thought that would happen to Rishi. *looks backstage stage* Oh, here's comes my friend... and the lover boy. I don't want to see him.

(Siddharth hides under a table) ENTER Karan, Mr. Shetty, and Rishi

Karan: *stage whisper* Did you see where Siddharth hid?

(they look at the table)

Rishi: Very well.

Karan: Mr. Shetty, did I hear you correctly? Zoya is... IN LOVE with Siddharth?

(Siddharth hits his head under the table and we hear a muffled "ooooowwwww..whaaaa?")

Rishi: Really? I never thought that woman COULD love a man.

Mr. Shetty: Me neither, but it's even MORE amazing that the guy she loves is... Siddharth... who she always seems to hate.

Karan: Maybe she's pretending?

Mr. Shetty: No that's impossible.

Karan: How do you know? What signs of love does she show?

(Siddharth sticks his head out of the table cloth)

Mr. Shetty: Signs?

Karan: yes, what signs?

(Mr. Shetty doesn't know what to say, so after some hesitation he pretends to whisper something to the prince and Rishi)

Karan and Rishi together: AMAZING!!!

(they start to sit around another table and Siddharth quickly hides his head again)

Rishi: Has she told Siddharth?

(Siddharth looks up from behind the table)

Mr. Shetty: No, and she never will.

ENTER Ramu

Ramu: Your book, bhaiya.

(Siddharth beats him off and crawls quickly back under the table)

Rishi: Maybe someone should tell him for her?

Mr. Shetty: Nooo, he would only make fun of her!

Karan: Poor girl.

Rishi: Yes.

(Karan, Mr. Shetty, and Rishi stand up again)

(Siddharth sticks his head out again)

Karan: She is very beautiful.

Rishi: And sweet.

Mr. Shetty: And smart.

Karan: Smart in everything... except for loving Siddharth.

Siddharth:  WHA!!!!

(Everyone turns. Siddharth hides quickly. After a few seconds hesitation Siddharth makes duck noises.)

Karan: Duck?

Rishi: Duck!

Mr. Shetty: Yes, just a duck.

(sigh)

Karan: Pity Siddharth will never know.

Rishi: Yes, they would be so good together.

Mr. Shetty: True.

(silence)

Mr. Shetty: Well people, dinner is ready. Let’s go?

Karan: Lead the way.

(They start to leave, but before exiting they stop and whisper together)

Karan: I have an idea! Lets send Zoya to invite Siddharth to dinner!

(Everyone laughs and nods as they leave)

EXIT Karan, Rishi, and Mr. Shetty

(Siddharth crawls out)

Siddharth: This is impossible! LOVE ME? Of course! It makes sense! That is why she acts like she hates me... because she is so... MADLY in love!

(Looks backstage stage-left and panics)

Siddharth: Oh god, here she comes.

(He runs and jumps on the table, sits in a flirty pose, and smiles.

ENTER Zoya.

Zoya: I'm supposed to tell you to come to dinner.

Siddharth: Well, aren't you sweet.

(Zoya starts to leave)

Siddharth: Zoya.

(She stops and turns)

Siddharth: Thank you for your trouble.

Zoya: No Trouble.

Siddharth: Then you are enjoying this?

Zoya: As much as you would enjoy being stabbed!

EXIT Zoya STAGE-LEFT

Siddharth: HA! She DOES love me!

(Lies on the table, blissfully)

Siddharth: Ramu! Where is my book!

ENTER Ramu

(Servant bows and gives book to Siddharth. Siddharth takes book and hits him with it)

Siddharth: Now get out!

EXIT Ramu

(Siddharth takes a moment to sigh and then dances off stage-right)

Scene 2:

ENTER Zoya STAGE-RIGHT

(She walks across stage, looking annoyed. She hears voices behind the curtain)

Priya: But are you sure Siddharth loves Zoya so much?

(Zoya freezes, then runs into a closet)

Neha: That's what Karan told me!

(Neha and Priya see Zoya's fingers in the door. They smile naughtily and Neha leans against the closet door)

Priya: Do they want you to tell her?

Neha: They did, but I think it's better if she doesn't know, for Siddharth's sake.

(They walk away from the closet. Door swings open and we see Zoya grimacing painfully)

Priya: Why? Siddharth is perfect for her!

Neha: Yes he is, but you know Zoya has got a lot of attitude, and she can't love anything except herself.

(Zoya looks offended)

Priya: Yes, that's true. She would just laugh if she knew.

Neha: So I will talk to Siddharth, and tell him he must NEVER tell Neha, even though it might kill him.

(At the thought of Siddharth dying, Zoya suddenly looks very sad)

Priya: I still think you should tell her.

(Zoya closes closet door)

Neha: No, I cannot. It would be better that I tell him she will never love him. Maybe then he will get over her.

Priya: I guess you're right.

(They start to leave but before going off they stop to giggle mischievously. Music plays and Zoya dances blissfully out of the closet. Then Siddharth dances on stage, equally dreamy. They dance a while then see each other and leave, embarrassed)

Scene 3:

(Siddharth is primping in a mirror, dancing to the song "Girlfriend")

ENTER Mr. Shetty, Karan, and Rishi STAGE-RIGHT)

He combs his hair, sprays deodorant, rinses his mouth, and sprays perfume. Karan, Rishi, and Mr. Shetty watch from side-stage, trying not to laugh. Siddharth then throws a colorful scarf around his neck, and everyone laughs aloud at him. Siddharth sees them and puts the scarf down quickly.

Karan: My friends, does Siddharth seem different to you?

(They walk towards Siddharth and surround him)

Mr. Shetty: I think he looks sadder.

Rishi: I think he's in love.

Mr. Shetty and Karan: Oooooh!

Siddharth: I have a toothache!

(Everyone laughs. Mr. Shetty picks up the scarf)

Mr. Shetty: And is this toothache medicine?

(They laugh again. Siddharth grabs the scarf. Karan sniffs Siddharth)

Karan: Is that perfume?

Siddharth: Get lost!

EXIT Siddharth

(Everyone laughs again. Mr. Shetty looks a bit sorry for Siddharth)

Mr. Shetty: Siddharth, wait!

EXIT Mr. Shetty

ENTER Manik

Manik: Brother! Rishi! You must come with me!

Karan: What's the matter?

Manik: Rishi, you like Neha, right?

Rishi: Yes, in a few days.

Manik: You might not when you see what I saw. Come!

EXIT everyone

(Clear Stage)

ENTER Neha and Karan. They are flirting and talking as they walk across the stage.

ENTER Manik, Rishi, and Karan

Manik: Look!

Rishi: Is that... Neha?

Manik: Neha is nothing but a bitch! If I were you, I would never fall for a promiscuous girl like her!

EXIT Neha and Karan STAGE-LEFT

EXIT Manik STAGE-RIGHT

(Rishi looks shocked. Manik pats Rishi on the shoulder, comfortingly, then leaves stage-right. Rishi drops to his knees)

Act 3

Scene 1:

ENTER Mr. Shetty, Rishi, Karan, Neha, Siddharth, Zoya, Priya

(At the wedding mandap, after all the formalities)

Karan: Rishi, soon its gonna be time for you to tie the knot? Finally, you have the love of your life!

Rishi: No!

(Everyone looks at Rishi)

Karan: is something wrong?

(Rishi looks at Neha standing across him.)

Rishi: How is your boyfriend Neha?

(Everyone gasps)

Neha: What?

Mr. Shetty: Rishi you must be joking!

Rishi: I saw you with another man last night.

Neha: Impossible.

Rishi: Goodbye, Neha

(Rishi turns to leave. We hear protests from Mr. Shetty, Priya, and Zoya. Neha looks shocked)

ENTER Siddharth, Manik and Ramu

(Siddharth is dragging the others. Rishi stops to see what's going on)

Karan: Sid, what are you doing with my brother?

Siddharth: I heard your step brother and our Ramu about their plan to destroy their relationship.

Mr. Shetty: What did you do?

Ramu: The girl you saw last night wasn't Neha, it was Priya. *points at Priya*

(Everyone turns to Priya)

Ramu : She didn't know anything. It was all Manik's idea!

(Manik punches Ramu on the shoulder)

(Karan goes to hit Manik, while everyone tries to stop him)

Karan: Sid, let them to get out of my sight before I do something terrible.

Exit Manik and Ramu

Rishi: Neha, forgive me.

Neha: Of course!

(They hug and everyone claps)

Siddharth: Zoya!

Zoya: Yes?

Siddharth: Don't you love me?

(Zoya looks surprised. Everyone smiles and Ooh's at them)

Zoya: Well... no... why? Do you love me?

Siddharth: No... well... maybe like I love my cat.

Karan: You DO love her and I can prove it! I found this in Siddharth's room- it is a love letter written for Zoya!

(Siddharth tries to grab it but misses)

Neha: And here's another! Zoya wrote this for her love, Siddharth. (sarcastically)

(they give Siddharth and zoya the letters. They read them. They tilt heads to the side, touch their hearts, then say "awww")

Siddharth: Ok, I confess, I do love you.

Karan: I told you would fall in love.

Siddharth: My friend, I have found that love is a strange thing, and it can happen, to anybody. Let’s have some MUSIC and celebrate my friend’s wedding!

(Music plays, and one-by-one people grab partners and dance off stage)

-THE END-